“Someone’s sitting in the shade right now because someone planted a tree a long time ago.”
-Warren Buffet
We are firm believers in having a plan. In life, parenting or not, knowing your hopes and dreams and making a plan makes for a much better life. So, yes, in our opinion, Stacey Abrams had it right “Hopes and dreams without a plan are just wishes.” And – we all know, wishing doesn’t make it so.
How to make that plan? That depends upon what your hopes and dreams are!
Planning is key to success in many instances in life. If you are opening a business, helping an infant learn to sleep, going on a road trip, having dinner with a large group, etc. having a plan makes all the difference. So, how to start a plan, any plan:
- First, where are you now? Where do you want to go with this plan?
- Consider who you want to be involved in the planning and why you are inviting them to be involved.
- How will you come to agreement on the plan?
- Do you want to engage outside help to help with the planning, or the progress?
- How often will you meet to discuss progress if you are making long term plans? Clear consistent communication is essential to planning.
- How will you measure your progress?
None of this is intended to dismiss impulsiveness and spontaneity, because we are all in favor of these! The interesting thing- in our experience personally, and with clients, is that spontaneity is even easier when everyone understands the plan and understands the deviation from the plan.
Mike Tyson was also right “Everybody has a plan, until they get hit in the mouth.” Really? Yep. Both quotes are true.
The only constant is change, which is why people talk about having a Plan B, and C…and sometimes you might get hit in the mouth a lot, and get to P!
Having a goal is great. Understanding that goal and what your part is in it? That is key. Personally, and with clients, we have found that clearly understanding and stating the big picture plan, is a good place to start. From there you will make many plans, some will pan out, and others will need revisiting and possibly scrapping in favor of an updated plan based on new information.
I recently drove from the Midwest to San Francisco with my father. We planned to spend the night in Denver and then head west through either Grand Junction or Salt Lake City. We had an app that gave us weather along different routes. My father liked Plan A. When we looked at weather upon arrival in Denver we saw that we were going to encounter snow and freezing rain. His Plan B was to spend another night in Denver and then head west-stick with Plan A.
We awoke the next morning and he had given it some thought. Plan C was put into effect -we headed south to Albuquerque.
Plan C made sense to us, no snow, no ice, extra miles, but in the end we assumed not many extra hours. The southern route was lovely. It was also not without weather. The winds were so strong that we saw six eighteen wheelers tipped on their sides! After a conversation with a trucker we learned that those trucks had been empty or had light loads and basically were pulling sails. That trucker had a light load and his Plan B was to stop for the day and hope that the next day was less windy. The trucks on their sides had made a decision to stick with Plan A. We had a low profile vehicle, a car, so continued on, holding tight to the wheel and arrived safe and sound in Albuquerque in time for dinner.
When driving, apps are awesome. In parenting, and particularly when you arrive at the pre-teen and teen years, all the apps and podcasts and books can be helpful, and frustrating. In our experience, talking to someone who has gone before you, someone who you trust and who you feel safe with, and by safe I mean that they will not tell you what to do, but work with you to understand the situation, can make a world of difference.
My high school friend who had kids before I did, who had experience and general directions/routes to consider, but who did not pretend to have the answers for me and my kid, is someone who I still thank to this day. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a trucker (or investment banker) friend who has a depth of experience, who you trust, and who isn’t going to tell you what route is right for you and your family, because she knows her truck/family, not your car/kid.
You do have this, whatever “this” is. Keep your eyes, ears and heart open. Make a plan. Touch base with others-be it friends, family or professionals when conditions change. Know that conditions will change, and that is A-Okay because there is always plan b…and c, and….
